This Is Asha

Hey there *waves*

Thought i’d write something on here cause its been awhile & i don’t have a journal or anything like that so i usually vent on here cause most of my friends don’t have tumblr.

These past few weeks have been the hardest weeks in my life (in recent memory) mainly personal issues. I don’t really know what i was goin’ to type but i jus’ needed to vent whatever was in my mind *deep breath* i think these past few days i’ve jus’ needed someone to listen to me not talk to me but jus’ listen to what i have to say, i’ve spoken to a few friends in the past few weeks but i didn’t really get to say what i really wanted to say so i still feel theres alot for me to express & the friends i did want to talk to haven’t been around & thats hard because im always there to help & give advice to most people but it feels like when i have a problem or if im goin’ through something who’s there to jus’ listen not to talk but jus’ listen?. These past few days i’ve felt so many emotions from bein’ happy & proud to bein’ frustrated & upset, i try not to express many emotions but deep inside im hurtin’ its like i can see my inner self sat next to me & i can see how hurt he is but i cant express that to anyone so this is the next best thing for me to write this & hopefully i’ll feel better.

I don’t wanna come across like im depressed or something lol it’s jus’ how i’m feeling at this moment, these feelings while hopefully calm down in a few weeks or months i dunno but i know they will calm down. I clearly need the right people around me & talk more & to stop puttin’ on a brave face while makin’ people laugh because thats not helpin’ me cause its makin’ others around me happy but not myself but it does help me forget about whats goin’ on at the same time so its kinda a catch 22 really *deep breath* ah well. 

But yeah i jus’ thought i would vent this quickly instead of it jus’ bein’ stuck in my head lol

Hope you have a good Bank Holiday!